Post-fieldwork note 1

The 8-month fieldwork in Ambon has taught me the deepest value of life.

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I came there with ambitious plans to learn, to do research, to finish my PhD, to get that dmn Dr. title, in short, to just get things done, fast, well planned, perfectly.

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If you follow throughout my journey in Ambon, since the beginning of it, you might have seen how I seemed to struggle to understand my own research idea, the setting, the problems, the novelty, the methodology, the adapting to a new place knowing only a few people, the (tirelessly) meeting new people on a daily basis to answer the same old questions “so what is your research about? Why pasar tradisional? Is pasar interesting to research about, oh really? Pasar is just pasar, right? Or, so you got 10 scholarships, how did you do that? Aren’t you tired of studying? Why would you pursue PhD? Isn’t a master’s degree enough? Or, other personal questions.” when deep inside you actually have no firm answer to any of the question, while you were also greatly doubting yourself or your decision and wanted to ask the exact same questions to yourself, for the thousand times already. The ‘why, Bel?’. [to be continued]

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