Compromise is an active verb.

Most of our current generation cannot live without internet connection and signal, even to think about it gives us chills. The feeling of missing out, they say. And apparently, this phenomenon is well captured through the recently releases film titled “Susah Sinyal”, a bit challenging to translate the words but let’s agree to say “Difficult to receive signal”. A glimpse of the storyline, it tells about two persons, mother and daughter, coming from metropolitan most sophisticated city in Indonesia, Jakarta, to spend their holiday in a remote area of a far, pretty unfamiliar place in the south eastern part of Indonesia, Sumba Island. In short, they were annoyed by the fact that to get them connected to the Internet was a (insert an idiom of difficult work).

Just recently, I was invited to share my experiences with students during an English camp organized by MELC, Ambon. When they came to pick me up, they warned me “Di gunung seng ada sinyal, paling susah.” (No signal there in the mountain, most difficult bit). I took it lightly as I didn’t have the rush to check the Internet especially when I am socializing with people, at least I tried to avoid it as much as I could. The sharing session went very well, and I was impressed by the enthusiasm the participants showed us. It was only due to the time limit that we had to end the question and answer session before everyone got their chance.

What interests me most is that how the local people who’ve been living in that mountain for years got used to not being able to stay connected anytime they want it to. A friend of mine couldn’t help himself but asking, “how did you manage to live without signal? How could you be ‘able’ to do that?” The other nodded and smiled, as if this question didn’t surprise him at all, “it’s not merely about our ability to adapt to it, being able is one thing, and getting used to is another.” And when they said that, it somehow punched me in the face. I used to tell myself that “to be a subject of our lives, we have to be able to make choice, to object thing, to take control over things that matter and affect us”, to choose not checking on social media when we are socializing with friends, to choose only spending 10 minutes online every two hours, to choose doing this not doing that, and so on. But we, at least I, sometimes forgot that being able to compromise to something we can’t control is also a choice, an active act of being the subject, still.

Cause in that sense, you don’t surrender yourself, but you scrutinize to handle it.

And what also interests me was that they got used to it in so they invented many funny expression to make fun of their situation. “Batu 4G” “4G stone” a sacred stone which enables people to get 4G signal when they sit on or stand next to the stone. Etc.


Bandung – gunting pita.

[Unpad, Bandung – Jatinangor] when I first got the email from the organizer, I was so excited. “At last, Bandung is calling me.” I know it might sound weird and trigger many investigative, if curious is not enough to define the word, questions of “how could you’ve lived in Jakarta for 10 years and Bandung never crossed your mind. Ngana sehat?” Well, it did, or course. Some of my close friends are actually living there, some of my university friends sometimes spent their weekend there, talked about it, tried to drag me to visit the city, and so on. But I was not sure why it kept me that long to finally decide to visit Bandung. I guess it might be that it’s like the crispy skin of my KFC chicken, or the cherry to my piece of cake, or the rempeyek kacang kedelai to my pecel Madiun, I mean, my save-the-best-for-the-last city (to visit). When I got there, the first question that came to my mind was “where have you been Bel, all this time? Seriously.” Like, seriously. Door slammed. .


I found Bandung, or Braga area with its cafés, friendly atmosphere, are just so Tilburg van Java, sorry, Parijs.


And ultimately, I was so grateful to meet and work with these amazing people. They worked hard to ensure that all my needs were well met. Their hospitality, enthusiasm, and motivation were just amazing. And this successful event wouldn’t be possible without the very professional work of @santoprakoso as the moderator, one of the best, so far. I’m sure one day I will see him succeed and accomplish all his dreams. His stories did inspire me and others a lot. So proud to know him and the rest of the organizing committee @sn_silmirizkiya etc. thank you, thank you so much. ❤️

Memperjuangkan Rekomendasi Penelitian

Mendapatkan surat rekomendasi dan atau izin penelitian (dulunya) merupakan momok administrasi untuk para peneliti, terutama yang memiliki afiliasi dengan institusi asing..

Saya mendapatkan ketiga surat ini dalam kurun waktu total 1 bulan. 2 minggu untuk mengurus di Kemendagri, 1 minggu untuk di PemProv, dan 1 minggu untuk di Pemkot.


Sebenarnya prosesnya kalau diikuti tidak terlalu ribet ataupun sengaja dibuat ribet. Memang, dokumen-dokumen yang harus diurus lumayan beragam. Tapi kalau kita terbiasa mengurus dokumen beasiswa atau mendaftar sekolah, kita menjadi setidaknya lebih terbiasa dengan persyaratan-persyaratan ini.


Banyak yang menyarankan saya untuk menghubungi ini itu, saudara saya, saudara dia, dst. Saya bukan mau menolak bantuan dan mempermudah proses, tapi saya cuma penasaran saja, sesulit apa prosesnya, seberbelit-belit seperti yang dibilang orang kah? Menurut saya sendiri, nggak terlalu sih. Biasa saja, normal. Atau mungkin karena saya dari luar daerah sehingga mendapat perlakuan yang berbeda? Semoga tidak karena itu. .

Dengan menjalani prosesnya sendiri, saya mulai sadar bahwa pelayanan administrasi di Indonesia sudah mulai membaik. Meskipun seakan merangkak, tetapi ada perubahan yang cukup besar yang saya rasakan. Semoga semakin profesional ke depannya. .


“…., remember why you started.”

[Antwerp, Belgium; 2017] some quotes I learned both from the participants and the lecturers during this summer school:. “Coffee did help me pull through the PhD” Post-doc.

. “I finished writing my PhD dissertation in 2 months only. It was because my flat got flooded just 2 months before the deadline. Some people perform their best under pressure” Prof.

.”The first time I submitted my paper to a journal, I got minor revision, I thought I was so lucky, but just after that I started to get rejected over and over again.” Prof. .

.”I went to Paris for three months, I don’t speak French, and I hate the people, I have no friends there, so it helped me focus on writing my dissertation, cause I got less distractions.” Post-doc

.”start writing with something you know very well. Don’t edit.”



One thing I always keep in mind, “during setbacks, remember why you started.”

That small things do matter. Love from Gent

[Gent/Ghent/Gand, Belgium: 2017] people might know Bruges better than Gent, some might prefer Gent than Bruges, or the other way round. It doesn’t matter whether the tourists like this city or not, but my trip to Gent was definitely an eye opening one. Exactly eight years ago, a girl coming from rural area started to believe that she could chase her dreams on the day when she got her first international letter, from Gent University in 2009. And strangely it did change her life, that she dared to dream bigger and higher. As simple as getting a letter from abroad. You know what, sometimes, it’s the little things that make life big. Thank you Gent. Thanks a million for making a believer out of me. ❤️ from 20-year old me.

Consultant for hotel development

Apparently someone truly paid attention when I said “one of my biggest dreams is to run (my own) a hotel.” 🌷.


Landing a job as consultant for hotel/hostel development for the first time. .



I previously worked in two different hotels, in Indonesia and France. Although it was for a very short period of time, but I did (somehow) enjoy it. Maybe it was because I am a keen observer, that I love to know how things work, how people do what they do and what people think they do when they do what they do, so yes during those two short periods I did earn a handful of knowledge on the hotel management system and some bitter experiences along the way, of course. .



Subsequently, I love to stay over in hotels or hostels in various cities or countries just to understand their uniqueness, and the meanings behind every little detail of its decoration or simply why this wooden table is paired with these colorful chairs? Or why the lobby is on the second floor? .



And yesterday’s visit marked the first time for me to make use of my knowledge as Bachelor of Art in Tourism Management in a more professional way, incorporating past trends to current tourist’s preferences. Are people still fond with taking selfies in front of tall buildings, statues, monuments or anything grandiose anymore? Or do they prefer to have a flat façade, parallel, close to them yet attractive backgrounds, instead? Why the sense of closeness to certain objects, the importance of touching, is crucial when it comes to attract people nowadays?


See how messy my life is, my dissertation is on conflict society but my interest is pretty much on everything else but my research topic. I know. 🙆 this long caption is meant to show you that, you can be whatever you want to be, simply by maintaining your interests and staying curious. ❤️

Puasa di Belanda (18-19 jam)

Hari ini adalah hari pertama puasa di Belanda disambut dengan suhu 31-35 derajat celcius di siang bolong yang terik. Sungguh nikmat Tuhanmu yang manakah yang kau dustakan. 

Panas. Gerah. 
Kami di sini, berpuasa selama kurang lebih 18-19 jam. Kenapa bisa beda? Tergantung mazhab yang dianut sebenarnya. Ada yang mulai dari jam 3 pagi, ada yang jam 4. Saya sendiri mengikuti yang puasa dari jam 4 pagi. Bismillah ya. 
Sebenarnya ini bukan kali pertama saya puasa di rantau, ataupun puasa di luar negeri. Puasa di rantau pertama saya adalah ketika saya kuliah S1 di UI. Pertama kali merasakan puasa jauh dari rumah, dari keluarga, menyiapkan sahur sendiri, memilih dan menentukan menu buka puasa sendiri. Jujur, berat juga dulu rasanya. Ditambah adaptasi dari anak kampung ke Jakarta (well, Depok sebenernya bukan Jakarta sih ya). Coba anggap aja seperti itu. Haha. Jadilah sering galau sendiri kalau malam, atau kalau sahur. Tapi untungnya, dulu saya tinggal di asrama UI, di mana lorong saya ada piket untuk membeli makan sahur bergantian. Dan suasana akrab kekeluargaan pun sangat terasa. Terima kasih teman-teman gedung F2 lantai 1! 

Kemudian sejak saat itu saya sering puasa di rantau, waktu S1, kemudian lanjut double degree di Prancis, kemudian kuliah S2 di Belanda, kemudian S3 di Belanda. 
Pengalaman pertama kali puasa di luar negeri adalah ketika saya kuliah di Prancis. Tahun 2012 yang lalu. Waktu itu kebetulan saya sedang magang di suatu daerah di Prancis bagian Utara, namanya Grand-camp Maisy, daerah Normandy/Normandie. Daerahnya sepi, kebanyakan penduduknya adalah lansia, turis ada beberapa yang datang karena daerah ini termasuk daerah yang cukup bersejarah bagi orang-orang Eropa terutama berkaitan dengan Perang Dunia kedua. Ayo jangan malas coba di Google sendiri. Atau, atau kalian bisa tonton film Saving Private Ryan. Nah, settingnya di situ. Hehehe.
Jadi dulu itu saya ingat kalau saya harus puasa sambil kerja, fyuh, kerja di bidang hospitality pula, di sebuah apartemen untuk liburan. Saya menjadi asisten direktur slash resepsionis slash cleaning lady slash tukang maintenance. Harusnya sih nggak boleh begitu yah karena di kontrak, jobdesc saya adalah asisten direktur. Tapi namanya juga orang Indonesia, atau mungkin lebih karena keturunan Jawa, jadi ya saya iya-iyain aja disuruh apa aja. Ya gitu. Tapi sebenarnya saya nggak pernah mempermasalahkan itu sih, saya selalu anggap semua hal itu adalah proses belajar. #sokbijak #iyah
Nah, karena jobdesc saya yang beragam itu, jadi cobaan tersendiri untuk menjalani puasa di tengah musim panas. Ketika jadi resepsionis, saya harus tetap menjaga sikap selalu ramah dan baik terhadap tamu. Setelah kerja kadang saya harus belanja di supermarket sebelum masak, kemudian tentunya masak sendiri, dan makan pun sendiri. Mungkin kalian yang belum pernah ke luar negeri selalu punya imaji bahwa hidup di luar negeri itu menyenangkan, indah, seru, dll seakan semua seindah postingan instagram. Nope. Yang begini-begini jarang banget kalian tau karena nggak semua orang share tentang kegalauan mereka. Eh kami. 

Begitu pula ketika saya harus puasa di Belanda ketika S2, tahun 2014 dan sekarang S3, 2016 dan 2017. Tetap nano nano rasanya. Tapi mungkin saya sudah naik kelas, jadi lebih ke “menerima” situasi dan beradaptasi sebisanya dan tetap bersyukur dengan pencapaian dan fase-fase yang sudah saya lalui hingga sampai di sini. Terutama di Belanda banyak sekali orang Indonesia dan kami pun sering berkumpul, masak bareng, ngobrol-ngobrol, piknik dan melakukan aktivitas lain bersama. Menjadikan kami keluarga dadakan yang dekat. Sehingga perasaan jauh dari keluarga pun tak terlalu membayangi dan menjadikan alasan untuk galau. 

Hari ini, tanggal 27 Mei 2017, pertama kali saya masak besar di saat menjalankan ibadah puasa. Sebelumnya tidak pernah terpikir apakah saya akan mampu untuk melakukannya, membayangkan puasa 18 jam di suhu 35 derajat saja sudah bergidik, apalagi harus masak untuk 11 orang? Masak dengan menu yang tingkat kerumitannya pun lumayan. Untuk kalian yang berpuasa, pasti tau kan beratnya hari pertama, terutama di jam-jam kritis setelah dzuhur. Huft. 

Dulu saya selalu bertanya-tanya, kok bisa ya mamah saya kuat masak untuk kami semua di hari pertama puasa, sedangkan saya hanya mampu gegoleran di kasur sambil dengerin lagu ataupun baca buku-buku ringan. 

Dan baru kemarin saya rasakan. Iya bisa. Dan iya. Saya nggak merasa berat untuk masak sambil menahan lapar dan tetap berpuasa, 18 jam. Aneh ya? 

Mungkin ini berhubungan erat dengan kecintaan saya terhadap memasak beberapa tahun ini. Memasak membuat saya tenang, membuat saya bahagia, melatih otak saya bekerja, saya menjadi sangat fokus, badan saya pun terus bergerak. Saya lelah, pastinya, tapi memasak tidak melelahkan. If you get what I mean. 

Dari situ saya pun ingat banyak sekali kutipan yang mengatakan: “love your job and you will never work a day.” 

Ini adalah menu kami kemarin:

1. Nasi bakar ayam kemangi

2. Kolak pisang + labu kuning + ubi jalar + kolang kaling (yeay kolang kaling! Seharga satu kilo ayam)

3. Mendoan

4. Baklava (dari Mas Andrie)

5. Bubur ketan hitam

Dan inilah teman-teman yang kemarin berbuka puasa bersama:

Aiyubi, Laduma, Mas Andrie, Vicky, Fadra, Bli Putra, Sean Putra, Kevin, Jecky, dan Nancy. 

Semoga lancar puasanya kawans dan sukses selalu! 


28 Mei 2017